Lydia came to me last week and said “mom, I have your mother’s day gift! It’s a diamond necklace” she bough it with her own money when she went shopping with her babysitter. It’s the first mother’s day gift I’m getting from my 9 year old daughter and even tough Lydia clarified “…well, they aren’t real diamonds mom but they are shiny and pretty” to me those shiny stones hold the same value as if they where 3 karat diamonds.

Being a single mom is not something I planned to be but things worked out this way because things happen that we don’t plan for. I came to this country leaving behind an abusive husband so that my daughter would not have to live in fear like I did. Lydia was four when we arrived and we both had to adjust to a new life, a new language while still maintaining own identity.

The process of adaptation is much harder for mothers than for children. When you come from another country the cultural shock is very hard. My daughter spoke no English when we arrived, she was four, but a few months later she began speaking English. Of course, it was much harder for me, it took me six years to learn the language but the biggest benefit of this transition is that she is bicultural; she knows what she likes of each world and has a very open mind.

I instill in my daughter the importance of being her own woman, being financially independent so she can always make desicions with her best interest in mind. I teach her that beauty does not buy you independence, I teach her to love who she is and do things she is passionate about. We live in a century where women can be anything they want and don’t really need a man for financial security. The only area that I’ve neglected is religion and teaching her what her religion is about. Time goes by so fast and now that she is nine I want her to be more aware of her spirituality. If we were in my country my mother would have taken on this role but here it is up to me. But I do teach her right from wrong and the moral values that molded me as a child.

Despite all the challenges we face, I look at this amazing little girl in my life and feel honored and inspired to be her mom. She is giving me a ‘diamond’ necklace on Mother’s Day but all the diamonds in the world could not add up the amount of joy she’s brought into my life. This Mother’s Day my wishes go out to all the single moms who are the hero in their child’s life everyday. ¡Feliz día de las madres!