by Maureen Perideaux

Having gone through a divorce, I realize that no one really wants a divorce but sometimes it becomes necessary. Even when it’s the right thing to do it’s a hard road. Here’s a bit of my story that I hope will be of help a woman who is going through the same thing.

With no kids, I thought the process would be quick and relatively smooth. Au contraire! Fortunately, I received some good advice from my sister who works as a paralegal. When it became clear my marriage was disintegrating, she told me to make copies of all personal and legal documents. And, make multiple copies.

I made three of everything. One set for myself (should I have to pick up and leave unexpectedly), one set for safekeeping at another location (such as safe-deposit box or with a very trusted friend), and a set that I would later give to my attorney.

Documents big sis said divorcing women need are:

• Driver’s licenses, his and yours
• Most recent statements for his, yours and joint:
• bank accounts (savings, checking, money market, CDs)
• investment accounts
• credit cards
• other debt (auto, student loans, etc.)
• retirement accounts
• Mortgage documents
• Property titles
• Legal property descriptions (from mortgage papers or tax bills)
• Home equity loans/lines of credit
• Auto titles
• Recent pay stubs, his and yours
• Tax returns and W-2s from last two years
• Stock options
• Insurance policies
• Wills
• If you have children, their birth certificates

You may not need all of these documents for your actual legal proceedings. However, at some point you will have to update things such insurance policies. It saves a lot of time if you can easily locate information like customer service and policy numbers. Also, items such as tax returns and wills document assets you may have overlooked.

Another plus of going through the hassle of making all these copies is that it will save on your legal expenses. With this info at his or her fingertips, your attorney will not have to spend time researching it.

Organize your documents any way you find easiest to use – three-ring binder, file folders, accordion files. It really doesn’t matter as long as you gather the information you need. I used a three-ring binder and colored Post-its to label each section. Green for income and taxes, purple for property documents – you get the idea.

Yes, it took hours to gather and copy these documents. Fortunately I had a copier in my home office. But even if I would have taken them to Kinko’s, it would have been worth the effort. Multiply your time by your attorney’s billing rate and you can see the savings.

There were other benefits of this copying marathon, too. It gave me a sense of control over at least one part of my life which was spiraling out of control. It gave me a concrete look at exactly what our assets and liabilities were. These documents became the basis of spreadsheets used by me and my attorney to argue for a fair settlement. In the end, I believe I got a fair settlement in large part because I was armed with information and my attorney was able to negotiate with real numbers.

My divorce was final last December and recently my sister returned the set of copies she kept for me. I’m glad I didn’t have to access them but it was nice to know that even if something had happened to my copies there was a backup set. Now it’s time to turn on the shredder!